Callings & Purpose
So what is my calling, what is my purpose here in life, on this planet? It’s a bit of a big one isn’t it? Many of us have fleeting thoughts about this. We then push it to one side, berate ourselves for daydreaming and get back to some task in our day job or sorting a mountain of laundry. The busyness of our lives gets in the way of dreaming. We get in our own way of dreaming but also the western culture that we live in does not value it.
For many women, something begins to shift at a certain point in our lives. Some sort of juncture arrives that may include (and more):
having your first child,
realising you are in the same job for 15 years and not quite knowing how that happened,
not feeling in any way fulfilled with the work you are doing for some time,
turning 40. It's a moment of reflection of 'what's next'?, 'why am I doing this?', 'there must be more to this'
We often feel that these thoughts are egocentric and self indulgent. We may try to push them to one side with inner narratives of: ‘I should be happy with what I have’, and ‘I have nothing to complain about'. We may have everything that we thought we wanted but that ‘everything’ is often an external, western, linear pathway of success. We go to school, we study hard, go to college, get our job, get a promotion, get married, get a mortgage, have a child (or some version of this). These are the things that we are supposed to aspire to, that demonstrate ‘success’. These are things we often go along with and never really question. It’s ok to feel gratitude for all the wonderful things that you have AND question where you would like to bring your inner passions out to the world.
So what are our callings and purpose? We often think that they have to be grandiose projects that make huge changes for the world and humankind. They absolutely can be, but most of the time they are gentle whispers and nudges for us to move in a particular direction. We see something in our communities, workplaces or the world that causes us a lot of frustration and these thoughts won’t go away. We have ideas and a vision about how things could be different. We often shove these ideas to one side because we don't feel qualified or ready to take action on them.
Acting on our calling may be terrifying for many of us. The reality is that moving into doing something that may challenge the status quo can be really scary. People may not understand what we are doing, they may not get it, they may feel threatened by it, they may think we are mad or all of the above. Others may think we are brave, doing what they would love to do or really admire us. There is a turning point where we can’t shun the little messages we are receiving, the nudges to do something a little different. We can try to ignore them but that comes at a cost. Good ideas that don’t translate into action eventually leave us in a whole heap of resentment.
We can always take one tiny action that moves us towards that direction. For example you may feel called to do something to tackle climate change in your area. It feels overwhelming, you don’t feel knowledgeable and it’s out of your comfort zone. But one action you could take right now is to research if there is a local committee already established. Ask them if you can come along for one meeting to see if you are interested in joining. Perhaps ask a guest speaker to come along to you local mother and baby group or have a lunchtime talk at work. This is just a start. To honour your calling you don’t have to walk out of the corporate job and join a Greenpeace ship (unless that feels 100% right for you). You can honour it in smaller, more sustainable, actionable ways and then build it up. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
You may manage a team and feel frustrated that the capable, smart women you work with rarely go forward for promotions. You could take some action by bringing in a speaker on the topic of women in leadership and why the world needs them. You may choose to mentor someone in work or even begin informal chats on the topic.
You may wish to resurrect your artistic side and would love to paint full-time but you need your job to pay your high rent. Start by carving out one time slot per week to honour this need or join a group. The next steps can become clearer then. These actions are not going to solve these complex issues but by moving forward step by step you are contributing to the solution. You don’t need to be an expert. Being a concerned parent/employee/CEO/creative wanting a better world IS ENOUGH in whatever area of influence you have.
Your calling or purpose may not be the thing that pays the mortgage. If it does, it's an added bonus. Your calling may be a task or a role that is unpaid in our society but that does not mean that it is not valuable. We have to challenge the notion that positions and roles are only worthy because they pay well. I would argue that some of our most important roles in society are the least well paid or unpaid. You don’t have to have one purpose or calling for life. For some people it is a clear lifelong project on a particular issue. Most of us though have different callings at different stages of our lives. Sometimes it’s time to let one go and move on to another. Imagine if just a fraction of the women whose voices and skills have been ignored for years started to act on their callings. What kind of community would we be living in? A more balanced, innovative and inclusive one I would guess.
So what’s calling you right now and what is one tiny action you can take in the coming week to honour it?
